Professor Farnsworth, although being very old, had the right idea when he built an Angry Dome on the Planet Express building in one of my favorite television shows/cartoons, Futurama.  As the Planet Express ship goes up into the sky, you see a wrinkly, pointy-headed, glasses-wearing old man wearing slippers and pajamas and a white lab coat yell soundlessly in a glass enclosed dome on the side of the red plated building.

Do I dare set this up for my guildies to read?  Oh yes I do. To be honest, there are some times I just cannot say because people tend to be fragile and I don’t like hurting their precious feelings.

(I lost my feelings in marching band.  It’s true!)

But for others, this could be a great tool for guildies who don’t really see or hear from their leadership.  And for leaders, this could be super great if you know there are other people feeling dark and hurt and emo on the inside.

(I’m not really emo, but I hear there are things crawling in my skin…)

Note that most of these are directed at certain guild members in the guild I “lead”, Lowered Expectations on Ysera (PvE).

  1. I do realize that dual-wielding Death Knights are quite capable of pushing numbers.  But let’s be frank here.  If you’re doing less than the main tank at any time, even though most tanks can push a little bit of damage now, you are not helping the raid.  I know my position on DK DPS is quite the unimpressive “wall of don’t care, I’m right”… but it’s that way for a reason.  I don’t really care if you’re a Death Knight dual wielding or a combat Rogue or a squirrley, non-existant Holy DPS priest.  If you’re not doing the job you’re supposed to be good at, you require some study time with the internets.
  2. Football is not an excuse for being unable to heal a 10-man Naxxramus group.
  3. Few things truly get my blood boiling (e.g. “discipline priests can’t heal”, “frost death knights can’t tank”, “all hunters are retards”), but passive aggressiveness really gets me angry, especially when you drop hints so unsubtle that it makes everyone angry.  Furthermore, playing the martyr when it’s completely unnecessary will also do it.
  4. Doing nice things for the guild is great.  Doing nice things and expecting everything you want is not.
  5. No, we don’t need anymore Restoration shaman.  Go level a paladin and spec Holy.
  6. … also, stop asking for loot in the guild bank. What are we, your personal gear slave?
  7. No, we don’t need anymore Death Knights.  Go level a paladin and spec Holy!!!
  8. Taking in 1 Protection warrior, 5 melee DPS, 2 ranged DPS, and 2 healers into Kel’Thuzad is nasty if you don’t have super awesome AoE healing.  Don’t try it.
  9. Did you know viruses on computers are bad?!
  10. Start using the correct consumables for raids.  I don’t think spirit food is great for tanking.  Also, take medicine to clear up your congestion… you sound like Eeyore who lost his tail everytime you talk on Ventrilo.
  11. … oh, and did I mention, you should seriously read up and watch fights for tanking instead of telling us what you’re doing every two seconds.
  12. … also, stop complaining and apologizing or I’m going to start bashing my head against a wall during raids!
  13. I hear being kind and courteous to your guild is pretty awesome.  I also hear being a jack*** in trade chat will get you /gkick’d.  So stop it.  When you wear our tag, whether you’re online a lot or not, you are representing the name and the people. We’re not a**holes.
  14. Don’t step on a certain person’s lawn.
  15. Twilight sucks.